and she probably lives in tahiti

EXCITING NEWS EVERYONE

I made a third installment to Abashed Comics, which you've never heard of before. It is about getting sexually harassed while you are trying to schedule some guy for an evaluation.



Seriously, what a dick. But.... island girls????????

you're bad news

My 97 year old "Bubbe" goofing with us, originally uploaded by ashapiro515.

It's probably not a good thing that I have to fight the urge to flip off one of my coworkers every time I am within a few feet of them, or vice versa.

Abashed Comics

I found these old MS Paint specimens in my gmail archives the other day when looking for other documents I might have emailed to myself. Context: at the time, I was working as a temp at my alma mater university, in one of the least stellar performances as an employee I have ever given. During my time there I also crafted an elaborate friend chart with small pictorial caricatures of my main squeeze pals, gave life to countless blingee gifs, and discussed the details of my intimate life in hushed tones with my coworkers in the tech support cave. Those were the only positives, though.

Abashed Comics #1:Abashed Comics #2

I can't believe I only did two of these!

waiting in this bush

I take it back. The amount they are offering for my salary is well beyond what I expected, so waiting another month isn't totally unbearable. Granted, my expectations are habitually incredibly low (see also: pessimistic realist), but as someone once said one time or another, that just makes it mind-blowingly awesome when you get offered a salary $5k better than your last full-time job.

I am ready to get my cat's matted fur all groomed out, buy a new bed, outfit our apartment with all the cleaning supplies I've been neglecting to purchase, update my closet, donate to some worthy causes, and buy everyone who's taken pity on me in the last year something nice and/or a few rounds of drinks, PLUS start adding to my savings account rather than slowly starving it. But I still have to wait another month.

aaaand, that's why I can't go for that.

1) I really need to upload photos from my canoeing trip with Vaughn and my dad to the Clarion River.

2) FINALLY eligible for full-time, permanent, salaried, full-health-benefits, government employment with 40 hours a week and 14 paid holidays per year. But I won't be on the payroll until mid-September because of OFFICE STUFF and I won't get my first salary paycheck until October because I HAVEN'T WAITED LONG ENOUGH. Why they didn't start this process earlier, I have no fucking idea. Right now, though, I just want to know what kind of pay they are going to offer. I've been assured I'll make more than my current hourly rate, but I am not looking at this too optimistically, because one of my coworkers confided in me that when the union (which everyone is basically obliged to join) re-negotiated the contracts this year, the result worked out to a $.02 cent (per hour) raise for her. Shit.

YOU MY FUTURE WIFEY

In an ideal world, the number of times I would have to hear Soulja Boy's "Kiss Me Through the Phone" is one. MAYBE two, if it was like... a dear friend's wedding song (improbable), or the last request of my father on his death bed (inconceivable), or if I had to listen to it in order to save my firstborn from certain doom at the hands of cripplingly awful music industry professionals (this seems most likely). Unfortunately none of these scenarios are in place to excuse the fact that I have to hear this song at least once a day from my coworker's MIX CD. Not the radio? Not the radio. She carefully crafted a mix CD dreadful enough to play on repeat day in and day out to suit her discerning taste (other selections include: Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and.. I don't even know the names of the other dreck) and, fr0m all appearances, the taste of the other coworker who sits directly next to her.

At least my job revolves around listening to other audio input for most of the day; plus, I sit far enough away from her that it's easy to block out as background fuzz. Mostly I just marvel that there is at least one person in the universe who evidently has no objection to the rotation habits of top-40 radio in the US.

there is a hope for the future and it is me

It is time again for another morning of job-sanctioned internet dicking around, by gum!

This morning my supervisor sat me down in her office to deter me from answering one of the other receptionists' phones today [as I did all yesterday - she's off til tomorrow] because that's not what I was hired to do. This is a relief as I was sort of under the impression that it was! Also the people in that department seemed perfectly happy to let me cover the phones for them. I'm one hundred percent jazzed to not have to do it, though, because it turns out that the majority of the people calling her phones are flagrant imbeciles, and by the end of the day I hated everyone.

WOO WORKIN'

hrggg blrrrr

Bluuuuhhhhhh. I don't even want to spend the mental energy crafting an update, and yet I have 10 minutes to kill before I can escape home to bother/snuggle with my cat.

Also, ugh, someone turn down the temperature outside. We had an over-eager winter; let me enjoy my spring in all its dreary, shy grey glory.

how about that.

Crikey Moses. An older dude coworker of mine just half-crouched at me and did a weird pointing motion like he was a cowboy and I was a bandit? This was made even more incredible by his loud purple shirt and seriously developed moustache. So far I have heard him express enthusiasm directly to me and more often to other coworkers about how "smiley" I and the other front desk receptionists are almost every day last week, but I guess now he's moved on to bizarre stage acting poses. I await the next development with a mixture of apathy and muffled anxiety.


Actual work to do today! I'm a little bit jazzed about it, and up until now was working fervently at being as productive as possible, but lunch made me lethargic and now I guess I am just cooling my heels for a spell. I'll get back on the horse soon [yee-haw!]! [!!]


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Man, this horse is kind of a pain to get going.