INTERNET CONNECTION

1) The title of this tumblr... blog... whatsit expresses my general feeling about work and/or most of my life a lot of the time!

2) via the above:

Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

i can't stop listening to this one

Brock claims #6 is the best, but I say that #4 is tremendous. The Sonia Sotomayor segment alone is fantastic, but there are gem lyrics studded throughout this entire song. I kind of like how it skips around through different musical themes for the separate news topics, rather than the style of most of the other Auto-Tune the News installments, which stitch everything into a continuous melody.

This one goes out to the Serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians

summer is ready when you are

Oh boy. For the past several days I have been consumed with anticipation for this weekend's trip to Ocean City, Maryland. I haven't been to the beach in years! At least 6, if not more. And I know, I know, it's just Maryland. I've never been anywhere further south, except Florida, when I was too young to remember much. I think I beachcombed for sand dollars, and maybe Brandon and Vaughn made a giant sand snake (like you do). The Outer Banks are a foreign concept to me, and honestly, I wouldn't go out of my way to get there.

The important thing is that I am jazzed as hell about these:

boardwalk!

amusement rides!

getting sand in your crotch!

being horribly burned!

weird tchotchkes!

unhealthy food items!

smelling of the sea!

possibly having to find Brock if he wanders off in a stupor at 2am (don't do it)!

It's going to be swell. Also, apparently on the itinerary is some kind of all-you-can-eat seafood buffet, and indulging in intemperance afterwards. Surefire SUCCESS.



I should not fail to mention that this past weekend was also some times. Brock, Kyle, Alyssa, and I went to Kennywood on Saturday, the best day anyone has ever had at an amusement park because the weather forecast kept a lot of people home. A brief storm shower around noon was enough of a deterrent that the rest of the day we had hardly any lines to wait in, which meant for several turns on basically whatever we liked. Facts we have gathered:

- Aliens fucking hate travelling in a straight line. It's on account of their innards always swirling.

- Brock will escalate from a few chuckles to an unstoppable torrent of laughter while riding the Swing Shot, every time. I wish I had gotten pictures of this.

- The Die Hard arcade game is the best ever.

- Kennywood's rollercoasters can achieve such dramatic drops because of the Unique Geography of Pittsburgh (tm).

- Brock can stop time and/or cause a miracle to happen if he loses his sunglasses in mid-air on a rollercoaster.



A+ time. Would attend amusement park again.

here is a post in which an alien expresses approval

HI

how about that.

Crikey Moses. An older dude coworker of mine just half-crouched at me and did a weird pointing motion like he was a cowboy and I was a bandit? This was made even more incredible by his loud purple shirt and seriously developed moustache. So far I have heard him express enthusiasm directly to me and more often to other coworkers about how "smiley" I and the other front desk receptionists are almost every day last week, but I guess now he's moved on to bizarre stage acting poses. I await the next development with a mixture of apathy and muffled anxiety.


Actual work to do today! I'm a little bit jazzed about it, and up until now was working fervently at being as productive as possible, but lunch made me lethargic and now I guess I am just cooling my heels for a spell. I'll get back on the horse soon [yee-haw!]! [!!]


--

Man, this horse is kind of a pain to get going.

jesus everything is hilarious this morning

I am trying to select an appropriate array of comics to print out and tape to my surrounding vertical surfaces, just like a good office drone. The trouble is that every effing Achewood comic from my assetbar profile is making me bust the hell up. Ditto several Dinosaur Comics. WHAT TO DO?
[Aside from conspicuously wipe the tears from my eyes and snorffle awkwardly in an attempt to inhale my own laughter at "Lyle threatens to play the trumpet with his cock," I mean.]

There is no work to be done today for me, so I am sitting around feeling anxious that I'm neither doing work nor helping out on phone coverage. The old hats around here make it sound like it's easy pie to type out 6 dictations a day, but of course I am shitting myself with the certainty that this will be an insurmountable task for me, because the secret truth is I am terrible at deciphering speech and kind of a mediocre typist! Honestly. I'm really maybe better than average at typing, but I am the guy who overhears friends talking about "how badly an American goes down in a German" and meeting with plovers for band practice. Except I am a lady.

Fate goes ever as she shall, you guys!